Crazy. In Moderation.

I've been out on a few dates lately. On a recent date I'd mentioned that I was writing a blog, since it seemed like a natural thing to say. But I quickly realized I needed to follow that with a comment that he couldn't read it...yet.

I'm perfectly comfortable putting all of this out there, but when you're trying to get to know someone new on a romantic level, it seems like you need to put the crazy out there in doses; in moderation. This got me thinking about what a dosing schedule might look like in the dating world. Here are some initial thoughts.

• Date 1: I have 2 sisters and a brother.
• Date 2: They don't all know each other. Because my older sister and I have the same dad. While my younger brother and sister and I share the same mom.
• Date 3: My mom is a twin.
• Date 4: But we don't really get to speak to my mom's twin (my aunt).
• Date 5: We don't talk to her because she went a little nuts years back and left her husband and three kids. (This, strangely, makes my mother seemingly normal)
• Date 10: My mom is adopted.
• Date 12: I grew up knowing both my mom's adoptive and birth mothers (e.g., both my grandmothers). 
• Date 13: My mom also had a brother, my uncle, who was adopted from another mother. (diagrams may be required at this point).
• Date 14: My uncle died somewhat unexpectedly a few years ago. Along with the coroner, the DEA showed up to take care of the pot growing in the backyard.
• Date 19: I lived with an ex for over three years.
• Date 20: I was engaged.
• Date 24: I was engaged until five weeks before the wedding.
• Date 30: I was engaged until I was dropped for a 19-year old.
• Date 35: I made my ex-fiance sign a contract to pay my parent's back $8000.
• Date 50: My mother is bipolar.
• Date 51: I'm not!
• Date 60: I haven't spoken to my father since I was eight.
• Date 200: I make more money than you.
• Date 220: I make a lot more money than you.
• Date 300: I mentioned my mom's a twin, right? So are my dad's sisters (my aunts). So, surprise! We're having them too.
• Date 301: Since my earning potential is higher, you will be staying home with the kids. I've bought you this "stay at home dad" t-shirt as a consolation prize. Congratulations.

On second thought, it seems easier to just send them the link to this post. Problem solved! Hasta, sabbaticaljo