Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Crazy. In Moderation.

I've been out on a few dates lately. On a recent date I'd mentioned that I was writing a blog, since it seemed like a natural thing to say. But I quickly realized I needed to follow that with a comment that he couldn't read it...yet.

I'm perfectly comfortable putting all of this out there, but when you're trying to get to know someone new on a romantic level, it seems like you need to put the crazy out there in doses; in moderation. This got me thinking about what a dosing schedule might look like in the dating world. Here are some initial thoughts.

  • Date 1: I have 2 sisters and a brother.
  • Date 2: They don't all know each other. Because my older sister and I have the same dad. While my younger brother and sister and I share the same mom.
  • Date 3: My mom is a twin.
  • Date 4: But we don't really get to speak to my mom's twin (my aunt).
  • Date 5: We don't talk to her because she went a little nuts years back and left her husband and three kids. (This, strangely, makes my mother seemingly normal)
  • Date 10: My mom is adopted.
  • Date 12: I grew up knowing both my mom's adoptive and birth mothers (e.g., both my grandmothers). 
  • Date 13: My mom also had a brother, my uncle, who was adopted from another mother. (diagrams may be required at this point).
  • Date 14: My uncle died somewhat unexpectedly a few years ago. Along with the coroner, the DEA showed up to take care of the pot growing in the backyard.
  • Date 19: I lived with an ex for over three years.
  • Date 20: I was engaged.
  • Date 24: I was engaged until five weeks before the wedding.
  • Date 30: I was engaged until I was dropped for a 19-year old.
  • Date 35: I made my ex-fiance sign a contract to pay my parent's back $8000.
  • Date 50: My mother is bipolar.
  • Date 51: I'm not!
  • Date 60: I haven't spoken to my father since I was eight.
  • Date 200: I make more money than you.
  • Date 220: I make a lot more money than you.
  • Date 300: I mentioned my mom's a twin, right? So are my dad's sisters (my aunts). So, surprise! We're having them too.
  • Date 301: Since my earning potential is higher, you will be staying home with the kids. I've bought you this "stay at home dad" t-shirt as a consolation prize. Congratulations.
On second thought, it seems easier to just send them the link to this post. Problem solved! Hasta, sabbaticaljo


  1. Agree, fantastic. Love it!

    btw, I meant to ask regarding your earlier post, did he pay back the $8,000?

  2. Indeed he did, Karen. It took him YEARS. I think he was close to being engaged a second time by the time he finished paying (he made it to the altar that time). Not that I took any pleasure in knowing that he was making monthly payments for all that time ;)

  3. Butt on what date do you send the link?

  4. Anonymous...THAT is a great question! Any suggestions? :)